gotta learn the hard way

Why does it have to be the hard way is the best way to learn?
Who told anyone that this person wants to learn the hard way?
I know how to understand, I am not pickle minded not to understand this.
Sometimes I wonder, is this it? is this what I have been waiting my whole life?
Now what? For sometime...did I ever learn from the past?
Why is it that I feel like I am back on the beginning?
I don't know... I really don't...